So I just received an email from a dear friend of mine, one whom I keep very close to my heart and also my unpaid, on-call, therapist who I will call Starfish (to prevent an abusive comment ensueing from her). But for those who are familiar with this blog, Starfish has managed to inspire me to publish this new post.
I found this recent email I received from Starfish just beautiful, in all its simplicity it really says a lot.
...we need to remember we are young, we are awkward, we are female. youth and
being female is possibly just two of the worst things. being young - means dumb,
unsure, little crazy , female - two minds, wants everything, picky, etc. damn.
when do we stop being young? or being female?
its hilarious what we do. i love it. i love being so imperfect and young. i look in the mirror at this face of mine, this pimply (haha) awkard look and i know one day i will look in the mirror and realise that this girl is gone because i will be a woman. i will not have this youth or that look in my eye that i do now. sometimes i think the
older, wiser starfish* is in me talking to me, looking at me in foresight and
telling me how lucky i am and i can honestly glimpse me, the 18 year old me who
has no fucken idea what shes doing and i am grateful that i am so aware that i
am who i am meant to be at this point in my life. one day, my hair won't be long
anymore and i wont wear as much make up and my skin will clear and my clothes
will be more conservative and simple, and i wont laugh as loudly, i wont drive
around in my little car tooting at hot boys, i wont be dancing in the bars at
clubs, i wont be flirting with older men, i wont be teasing young boys, i wont
be with my girls gossiping in cafes, one day i will lose all of this without
realising. it will all just go and something will come - a job, a family,
marriage, maybe deaths, maybe divorces, who knows, but right now - i am free of
responsibility and i can fuck around and not have to prove anything to anyone. i
dont have to be perfect, i dont have to be right, i can do whatever. we can do
that spowf. we are at our best, right now, this is us, so young, lets not grow
up yet man. lets just be a little crazy, a little childish, a little wild.
because we can.
i am just blessed by the people who enrich it and make me
that more deeper, that more wiser and all i think is that im so afraid i am
going to lose all this and not make the most of it and why the fuck do i make
such a big deal out of nothing? think about it. spowf, these guys, why waste
energy on that? i still have feelings for seaweed* and i am aware that he still
has feelings for me, but not now, i dont want to dwell on it or think about it,
i just wantt to get stoned with my girls and swim naked at the surf break and
drive out in my little car on the worst roads on this island. i want to sit on
facebook when im meant to be at work. i want to do everything fucken wrong. i
want to make mistakes so i can learn. i dont want to be sure of anything. i want
to just be a little dumb while i can, this is it. i want to kiss randoms and not
think 'ohh what will so and so think, does he like me, blah balh' who fucken
cares, argh.
this is our time to shine man, and i fucken intend to do that,
be it blind drunk or so stoned or high on life, whatever, i just dont care
anymore. im young and im going to have fun and be a girl.
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. "
- Albert Einstein
Note: This is my favourite quote.
